A.R.E

“A.R.E you there for me?” The founder of EFT, Sue Johnson developed this acronym, which promotes deeper understanding and connection between partners. A.R.E (accessibility, responsiveness, and engagement) is an essential element of any healthy bond!

Accessibility refers to whether or not you are available to your partner, even when you are upset or feeling insecure. It involves being able to make sense of your emotions, express yourself without blame or accusation, and reconnect with your partner after a disconnection. And true accessibility involves openness and a willingness to connect with others. It is about creating meaningful interactions, rather than just engaging in the same activities side-by-side. When we focus on understanding each other better and meeting our fellow humans where they are, that’s when true inclusion begins to happen.

Responsiveness is more complex and involves being able to respond to your partner’s needs and emotions, showing them that you care and that what’s going on in their world matters to you. This includes understanding how your own emotional state affects your partner and being able to comfort and support them during difficult times. Our neurological and biological makeup encourages us to seek the comfort of knowing someone is looking out for us, reassuring our sense of safety. The feeling that we are not alone in this world allows us to relax, trusting that our needs will be met with appropriate care.

Engagement is the hardest part of the A.R.E. Trilogy and requires both partners to show up and share in ways that draw them closer together. It involves taking responsibility for the energy you bring to the relationship and being involved in ways that allow your partner to come close. With an understanding companion by your side, the fear of fighting for survival is suspended. You experience a calming sense knowing that you have somebody looking out for you in this challenging world; allowing your nervous system to relax and soothing away any primitive neurological worries.

Take action now and start making positive changes in your life! Schedule a session today.